What's Happening!?

Walt write a narrative using the correct structure.
I know this when I write an introduction, 
body and a conclusion.

St Patrick’s school was off to Sylvia Park to watch films that students have made for the manaiakalani film festival. Something in plan for them. It was going to be a scary trip for St Patrick’s school. I wonder what was to happen to them?

On Wednesday, St Patrick’s school went to the movies to watch the manaiakalani film festival. We travelled on a bus to go to the movies. However, something strange started happening on the bus, the teachers became zombies and the bus driver became a spirit. All the kids started to feel really scared and they were put under a sleeping spell for one hour. One hour later, the kids woke up from the one hour rest time and discovered that they were at ghoul land.

When the teachers went out of the bus, they went to their Zombie lair and started to sleep. Then the bus driver went out of the bus and he came back with a crystal ball and his other spirit friends. After that, the students wanted to explore ghoul land but they couldn’t because their bottoms were stuck to the chairs and they couldn’t move their bodies. Then when it became night, kids started moving and they were able to move again. So they wasted no time and tried to find a way out.

One of the kids saw a button that said ‘Back to the real world’ so she told everyone about the button the was on that bus. However they didn’t know that it won’t work without the bus keys and the bus driver had it with him. So when they pressed the button it didn’t work, they started to panic. However one brave student thought about an idea she said “Let’s get the smallest person to go outside and break the crystal ball and get the bus driver’s keys”. They all replied “Great idea!” So they got the smallest person and told her to sneak out and five minutes later she came back with the keys and they were finally saved!

Just then Ella marie woke up from her dream and she was so glad it was not true or was it?

Playing Softball is Fun!

WALT write a narrative. I know I can do this when I can use adjectives to describe events and things in my writing.

Once upon a time there was a girl and her name was Ashley.

She was poor lonely and she was always so sad. She lived with her grandparents and her dad. They lived at the top of a very tall and dirty building. Ashley was the only one working for her family and she worked at a Garbage chute.

One day her Dad was on his way down the building when he saw a poster that stated, ‘Free Softball trials’.  He ran up the steps to tell his daughter about the trials. She thought about it for a long time. Then she finally agreed with her father and started getting ready for the practice.

When she arrived at the venue, she saw a lot of rich kids that she didn’t know and they seemed unfriendly. She felt so alone but she was able to hold it in. Ten minutes later, the coaches arrived and introduced themselves. "Hi, my name is Debbie and her name is Santana”. They all replied happily, “Hi Debbie and Santana!”

They were so excited about the softball practice including Ashley.

They were taught about butterfly hands, about home base, first base, second base and third base. They played a game which involved using the bases and catching the ball. When they finished the practice, Ashely 's attitude changed and she became  happier and  more confident.

From then on, she decided to attend all the practices. Ashley also read books about softball techniques, borrowed used softball materials from her coaches and played with her dad at home.  She made sure that she improved in every game that she played. With her dedication and enthusiasm, she became the best softball player in the country